Frag your expectations.

“Act without expectation.” – Lao Tzu

Do you still get frustrated at games? Do little things still tip you over the edge and send you into a lapse of Gamer Rage? Even if you’re a Knight in the Army Against Rage these lapses may still occur. It’s ok. 

Nobody’s perfect.

But we keep trying.

So far we’ve learned to be aware of our own rage and decided to become enlightened gamers. Even Yoda has given us wisdom on how to avoid The Dark Side, Gamer Rage.

But these feelings of irritation, frustration, and rage will still pop up from time to time. These feeling could be triggered by anything from a difficult boss fight, or as small as getting defeated in online multiplayer.

Do little things get to you?

How much of your stress, frustration, disappointment, anger, irritation, pissed-offedness comes from little trivial things that happen to you while gaming?

It pretty much all comes from your expectations. Things will almost never turn out as we expect. We’ll always wish things were somehow different or had gone differently. This is where the negative feelings seep in. 

As gamers we often are put in the position of thinking ahead, of forming tactics on the fly. We construct scenarios in our heads of what might happen.

What do I do if that Locust goes over there?

Where should I go if that mech starts coming this way?

What gun will best deal with this threat?

We’re constantly assessing the situation and adjusting how we play accordingly. We’re always planning ahead.

But what happens when those plans don’t work out?

That guy is over there. I’m going to pop out and shoot him. What?! I’m dead?!

When things don’t play out the way we pictured in our heads we wish things went differently. We get disappointed that our expectations didn’t live up to reality. And this is when the negative feelings come in.

Solution:

Take your expectations and frag them. Take a chainsaw bayonet to your expectations. Give ‘em the ol’ 360 no scope. Use some cloaking and sneak up behind those expectations and finish them off. Hog tie your expectations and leave them on the railroad tracks. Whatever you like. 

I’m not suggesting you stop thinking tactically; doing so would only net you a horrendous kill death ratio. I’m merely suggesting not to form expectations on how things will turn out for you. You truly have no idea how things will play out no matter how good you are. You need to roll with it rather than resisting what is happening and responding negatively to what has happened.

Continue acting as you see fit, but don’t form expectations about how others will act, or how things will, or should turn out for you.

So now that your expectations are lying in bloody chunks at your feet, what happens now? They’ll probably just disappear after a short while depending on what engine your life runs on. Your expectations are vanquished. Just let them disappear.

Now try gaming without them.

Live without them.

What’s it like? You accept things as they are. You accept people as they are. You accept games as they are.

You got owned. Accept it. It happened. Move on.

No expectations.  No frustration. No anger. No Gamer Rage. If these feelings show up, accept it, and move on. Negative feelings are a waste of your time.

If an expectation shows up, don’t worry. Just find it, and assassinate it. Then dispose of it however you see fit.

Just accept what is.

Enjoy your game.

Enjoy your life.

Live without expectations.

Inspiration for this post comes from Leo Babauta of Zen Habits. 

Quest Objective 2: Let's be Gaming Gandhis

It's time for your second objective in The Quest, Knights.

If you missed out on the first objective, here it is: Breathe.

I hope the first objective helped you to become more aware of your own rage and to help you avoid it. That's a very important step to being an honorable Knight in the Army against Rage.

A while back I was posting in the Gears of War 3 forums on a thread about achievements. I said that there should be an achievement for just getting along with everyone online. No degrading anyone, no making fun of anyone, no insulting anyone, no yelling at anyone. Just being respectful and having a good time.

Sadly such an achievement would likely be very hard to attain for most gamers. But not for the Knights in the Army against Rage.

I have faith in you guys.

When I suggested this obviously unimplementable achievement, I was naturally accused of being unrealistic.

One poster in particular said that I could go ahead and try be a 'Gaming Gandhi' but that he would go on playing games and insulting people as he did.

I was honestly quite flattered to have been so unworthily compared to such a great historical figure such as Gandhi.

You second objective in The Quest is to try and also be 'Gaming Gandhis'. Now I understand that this label might not be very accurate.

Gandhi was all about solving things through nonviolence, and let's be honest, most game's we play online are loaded with violence. This seems to be a bit of a contradiction and possibly even a defamation of Gandhi's name. (It might look something like this.)

So instead of misusing the name of Gandhi, let's instead aspire to be 'Gaming Mahatmas'. Mahatma is Sanskrit for "great soul." The term can also be used to adepts, or liberated souls.

I would think that gamers who play online and enjoy themselves without insulting or degrading others or participating in any other form of douchebaggery would be considered liberated souls in the gaming world.

Are you up for the challenge of becoming a liberated gaming soul? Do you have what it takes to be a Gaming Mahatma?

When you star playing a game online be courteous to everyone you're playing with. If there is a doucebag in the room, don't antagonize him. That'll just make it worse for everyone. Don't give in and be a dick back.

You're better than that. You are a Gaming Mahatma.

Help out your teammates. If there is a noob on the team, don't put them down, be helpful. Someone who is new  to a game would greatly appreciate a more experienced player showing them the ropes and watching their back.

If you act kind and fun mannered, odds are you'll start making lots of friends online who are also fun to play with.

Try and make the game as fun for the other players as you can. Making others happy is a way to make yourself happy.

Don't rage. Don't insult people. Don't be a dick.

Be a Mahatma.

Let your gaming sould be liberated and get the most out of your games.

This is your second objective in The Quest. Be conscious of this mission every time you log into an online game.

Be a Gaming Mahatma.

Be a liberated soul.

Not a douchy one.

Enjoy your game.

Enjoy your life.

Games Can be there for You

This is a true story I’m about to share with all of you dear readers. (Seriously, if you’re reading this I appreciate you. A lot.)

This is a story about how Mass Effect was there for me when I needed someone.

It was my last year in high school. I went to a very small school in Nowhere, ND. (There were 20 kids in my graduating class. Yeah.) Now that I have your pity, we can continue with the story.

I decided to spend my senior year in Germany. I was getting sick of living in a small town. Everyone knew everyone, or so they thought. You never met anyone new. Everyone was set in their ways. Nothing exciting ever happened. I wanted to leave all of that small town life behind. This also meant leaving my girlfriend of the time behind.

The day I got on that plane to leave North Dakota was our 9 month anniversary. After a month or two of being away from her in Germany she started hinting that she didn’t want to be with me anymore. She wanted “a break.”

This devastated me. Eventually it became pretty clear, though she never actually said it straight out, that she was breaking up with me. From over 1,000 miles away.  My heart broke. My heart got fragged, assassinated, 360 no-scoped, chain sawed, whatever.

Then my host parents (lovely people) took me on vacation completely oblivious as to how my heart was being held together by false hope that maybe I’d someday be with her again.

We went to a small little house that they owned in Holland. I can’t remember the name of the town. I don’t really remember much from that short vacation. My mind and my heart were elsewhere. 

I brought my Xbox 360 along on the trip. (My host parents suggested it. I guess they figured I might get bored.)

I spent most of that small vacation sitting in front of the TV playing Mass Effect. At night I would lie in bed and try not to cry, try not to think about anything. 

Like I said, she got a critical hit on my heart.  

One day on our vacation the three of us took a trip to Amsterdam. No, we didn’t do anything crazy or outrageous so stop wondering. We went to a Madame Tussaud's wax figure museum. That helped take my mind off things for a while. Other than that the only other thing I remember doing in Amsterdam was stopping for ice cream at a place that had a dalmation, and going to a book store. It was an English book store. Luckily for me.

I found my way to the science fiction section and I was very pleased to find the new Mass Effect novel I had been wanting to read.

Mass Effect: Ascension

I spent my time on that vacation playing Mass Effect during the day and reading my Mass Effect novel at night.

I didn’t have anyone to comfort me. I was very torn up inside. The time we were on that vacation I had no internet, no way of contacting anyone.

I felt very alone. 

But I had Mass Effect.

Mass Effect was there for me. Mass Effect helped take my mind off the pain and confusion I was going through.

I love Mass Effect for a lot of reasons. And this is one of them.

Games can be there for you.

If you’re going through tough times and you just need to get away from it all, to forget about it all for just a little bit, play a game. Focus only on the game and nothing else.

Forget about what’s ailing you for the short time you’re in the game. After some time away from reality you may reemerge more prepared to deal with whatever is going on in your life. Just don’t hide in games forever. Sooner or later you’ll have to face reality. That’s where your friends and family come in. Don’t have any? Then come to me. I’ll help you.

I want you to be happy.

I’ve been heartbroken.

I’ve been depressed.

It sucks.

I don’t want you to have to go through that.

I’m here for you. Seriously.

So enjoy your game.

Enjoy your life. If you’re not, let your games help, let me help.

Be happy.

PS. That heartbreak story happened a long time ago. I’m over it and very happy. I have an amazing girlfriend who makes me very happy. I've been with her for almost a year and a half at the time of this writing. And I have all of you readers! Everyime someone reads one of my posts it makes me happy. 

I'm happier than I've ever been thanks to my friends, my girlfriend and this book, which has changed my life. 

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment